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Showing posts from August, 2018

Today I broke...

Today I broke.
As the tears streamed down my face in anger, in frustration I felt as though I had made a terrible mistake.
I shouldn't have become a mother.
I regretted having children.
That I wasn't equipped to deal with two children, that I couldn't cope anymore.
Then the guilt washed over me in tidal waves that I dared have this thought.
I know how lucky we are but at times it is so hard to be greatful when my four year old is a ball of energy who leaves a trail of destruction in his path and never, ever listens.
The baby?
He doesn't sleep, he doesn't want to be apart and he screams all day.
The house is a mess, plastic toys piled high pushed to one side and forgotten about.
Wasted money thrown at the promise of peace.
I no longer remember waking up and feeling like I have a handle on this.
I feel like a failure.
I can't stop craving to be on my own.
I want to be able to eat, drink, pee, bath and actually work on my own.
I want to read a book and eat chocol…

The birth of a blog... and an award nomination.

When we were told E had #chd I felt so alone. I knew no one else who had gone though what we were and when I looked online I couldn't find anyone writing about it other than on forums.
I was angry, bitter and resentful, where were all the parenting blogs telling you honestly how shit it is to have a child who is ill?
Who needs surgery?
I began my blog to fill that gap, if I could help just one other person feel less alone, semi normal or just to raise awareness then it was worth it.
The minute I connected with others who had gone through the same thing I felt understood.
I connected with those that hadn't gone through what we had but who supported and empowered me.
I don't have thousands of followers, I don't get asked to events or #gifted things.
I am as far aways from being one of the cool kids as they come.
But, I am honest.
I am confessing what life is really like with a heart baby, and what parenting is really like with mental health struggles.
I am not about to …

The Backstory Podcast

Everyone who knows me is aware that I don't really like publicly speaking. I also have a cracking Norfolk accent I am a tad self conscious off but alas I digress.

I can never get my words out in the way I want them too (hence why I am a writer) despite my nerves I have recorded a #podcast with the brilliant @thebackstorypodcast

I talk about our #nicu story and life as a #nicuparent and our #journey.

You can listen to it and the other brilliant podcasts here;

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/who-helps-nicu-parents-vickis-story/id1273831166?i=1000416466765&mt=2

I want to tell our story in as many ways as I can, to as many people in hope that it helps just one person feel less alone, to comfort them and to raise awareness of the issues that need to change.


#podcasts #backstory #nicu #chd #mother #parent #blogger #mystory #norwich #norfolk #recording #nicumum #honestconfessions #parentlife #norwichblogger #norfolkblogger #mums #dads