This is a letter just to explain a few things, I would say it is something of a public apology but I will let you into a secret…. I am not sorry.
I am not sorry I chose to have a child, nor do I regret this even on a bad day.
I am not sorry my child is strong willed, has likes and dislikes and is his own person.
He is a little boy who expresses emotion, just like any adult. He may not understand his emotion at the time, and this will frustrate him and he will act out.
I am not sorry when you are looking disapprovingly in the supermarket when he is crying as I will not buy him sweets. That I am taking my time going down to his level to explain how he is feeling.
I am sorry I choose to comfort my son, I am not sorry I didn’t leave or take him outside through embarrassment.
What have I got to be embarrassed about?
|Kicking back on the train, cue the scolding.|
I am sorry that he will scream, cry and kick when he goes back in the pushchair. He wants to explore, learn and experience new things, but at times I need to do this to ensure his safety he does not understand this yet.
I am not sorry that in a restaurant he may get up and wander around, or scream too loudly and that he is maybe ‘unruly’.
I am sorry you felt we were not good enough to sit next to even though we too were paying customers JUST LIKE YOU.
I am his mother and not Professor X, and I do not control him.
He is his own person, no matter how much I will guide and teach him, he will still do what the hell he likes. Even when I bribe him with mini bags of Haribo.
Do you know while you are judging me as a parent that I am raising a kind, gentle and funny little boy who loves to share? That he had a horrendously difficult start to his life.
That I am trying to teach him to be kind, open and accepting of others so when he grows up he doesn’t judge others like you.
I am sorry I do not choose to keep him prisoner in him own home, and god forbid take him out in PUBLIC.
I am sorry you had the misfortune to come across my child who at the time, was tired and was not too impressed he was on the bus in the heat and stuck in a traffic jam. I am sorry you felt you couldn’t talk to me like an adult, a decided to make a scene and move away from us on the bus tutting.
Do you know how that made me feel? Are you a parent?
|ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?|
I am sorry my 2-year-old toddler hasn’t figured out all the manners and etiquette; that he does not know what is socially expected of him at his age. I mean 2 whole years and he is learning. SHOCK HORROR.
When you see a toddler or child having a tantrum why do you look at the parents like they are worthy of a social services call? It’s not their fault! They are not on the floor screaming, are they?
Why do you feel it is okay to make rude comments, judge someone’s parenting ability on that singular moment? The look of disgust on your face that you have had to endure this in your day, horrifies me.
Do you know their story? The day they have had? Their circumstance? NO.
Do you remember being a child? Don’t you think you did this at their age too?
Maybe you are a parent, or a grandparent, can you not remember the terrible twos? The tantrums?
Why are we as parents being made to feel like we are the worst humans on the planet if our child acts out in public?
|The face of angel|
Please think of the parent, do you think we want to be standing in Poundland having an argument with a child who is flat down refusing to let go of the plastic police helmet and gun?
So public, this is my non apology letter to say I cannot control my child, just as I cannot control you. I don’t care he is a child and he is learning.
When my child is acting out in public I will never apologise, we shouldn’t have too.
A mama who no longer gives a crap what you the public thinks.
P.S This is dedicated to Kate Raine, the mother who found herself criticized and publicly humiliated online by the café she took her child too. Mama, you’re doing amazing this is for you.