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New Year... Same Old Me

Well, I can officially say this is my first post of 2019 and also for a little while too, I hope it is the first of many more regular posts again.
The truth is, I lost my blogging mojo and fell into a bit of a social media wormhole constantly comparing myself to others, seeing them announce their plans and features and wondering if I was really good enough.
I have been questioning whether people really are interested in what I have to say as she types from her bed (I have been told that all the best writers do this from a fellow writer!) with her two kids being bribed with Milky Ways and Toy Story 2 for the umpteenth time.
I have been blogging for few years now, and have had some amazing opportunities, I have been nominated for two awards, but alas my shelf is still waiting for the award I win and get to bring home. As much as it is an honour to be nominated and to be a finalist it makes me wonder, is it worth it all? Am I worth it all?
I have so many half started blog posts, so many idea…
Recent posts

Dear CHD...

Dear CHD,
Four years ago I had never heard of you.
I didn't know what you stood for.
I didn't know what you could take away.
I was naive to not realise the impact of you on my family's lives.
You changed my life that day as I watched as you took residence in my newborn son and went to battle with him.
I watched from the sidelines as your effects ripped through his tiny body and I felt every breath he struggled to take, heard every alarm you caused to sound, you were winning.
You were killing my baby.
He was loosing the battle but there was something you didn't count on, that he fought back.
He was so little, but he was more powerful than you.
He got stronger, he began to feed, he tolerated you and eventually he became strong.
We took you home with us, it wasn't just our newborn baby we welcomed home, it was you too and guess what, you were never invited.
You robbed us of a normal life.
You caused fear in me like I have never felt before.
You gave is an uncertain …

The NICU Parent Partnership Launch Campaign

We had an idea, and it was a fairly small and simple idea to help NICU parents during and after their NICU journey.
To have one dedicated, honest and accessible space that parents, siblings, grandparents, family and friends can find honest and accessible materials and everything they need created by those who have been through it, well as having peer to peer support for NICU parents by NICU parents.
This was our seed, we knew what we wanted to do but didn't know how to do it.
We had two amazing meetings last week with two amazing ladies who are helping us with the tools to launch TNPP.
@samjames_themumcoach will be creating and implenting our peer to peer training program and the lovely Sarah @wildflowerdgtl will be helping us get up and running online and the logistics to implement everything we want.
We cannot thank these ladies enough for dedicating their time, support and most importantly for believing in us and helping us achieve our goal.
Our @gofundme page is now live plea…

To my son with CHD as we apply for school.

We knew it was coming.
After all, most of your friends started school last month, as you are a September baby you will be the oldest in your class.
I have to be honest, seeing the letter and holding it in my hand still made me stop for a moment. I turned to look at you and realise next year your teachers will see you more than I will.
That you won't be here demanding Power Rangers on Netflix, making me craft or bake and you won't be pulling your brother about the house by his feet (well, as much).
I have been heartbroken for you this year.
You should have gone to school, you are so ready.
Missing the cut off by two weeks I watched you as your friends all went up, I saw confusion in why you were not going with them, why they weren't coming on weekday playdates anymore.
You acted out, overwhelmed by all the change not realising why it was all happening.
We decided to keep you busy, we filled your week with classes and activities.
I was gutted for you, I felt you were missing out, get…

Small steps...

Over the years since starting my blog I have always had the same dream, to stop anyone feeling as though I did when Elijah was born and admitted to NICU.

To support, comfort, raise awareness and normalize NICU.

I never wanted anyone to go down the same path as I did and if there was something, anything I could do to prevent that, I woul d try my best to do it.

I've tried things that haven't worked out, joined campaigns that fizzled out and still felt there was more to be done.

I think it's taken up until now to realise HOW I can do this. That I can build on my blog and social media skills to truly achieve what I have dreamed of for so long.

We have had two productive and amazing meetings this week regarding The NICU Parent Partnership and given some of the tools to make this happen.

We have also welcomed on board our first volunteer who will be TNPP's Secretary which is very exciting!

We have gone live over on Instagram so please come follow us, tag anyone you think t…

To a fellow NICU Mum - The M Word

"When I first met another NICU mum it felt as though the burden I had been carrying for all those months had lifted.
I felt so much lighter, I felt understood, and I felt as though I was normal.
The look in your eyes today, it took me back.
Every gut wrenching feeling washed over me, your pain resonated with me on a level that is almost indescribable.
I want you to know, I get it mama, I really do in only a way someone who has been through it can.
You are not alone.
I am here for you, part of the same club that neither of us asked to be in.
One that will be with us for a long time to come, if not forever."
I am so proud of the piece I recently wrote for The M Word it is dedicated to all the NICU parents I have met recently, but one lady in particular inspired this piece 💜
You can read the full piece by clicking here.

Huffington Post - #BirthDiaries

I was invited to be interviewed by the Huffington Post UK for their amazing new #BirthDiaries series.

It is a series that aims to share and bring together different birth experiences and stories.

If you have followed me for a while you will know my youngest son's birth was a whirlwind unplanned 50 minute home birth after some fajitas for tea!

You can read my full birth story here.
I believe it is so important to share our diverse birth stories to show the difference between them and how much they can vary. There is no perfect birth.

This is also why I am a supporter of the amazing Make Birth Better Network, and have recently taken part in there #EveryWordCounts campaign.

My advice of you are a parent to be about to give birth and a snippet from the interview...

"Don’t fixate on what you’ve seen in the media and what your image of birth is. The chances are, it’s not going to go that way. We are given an unrealistic image of what a good birth is, so when things don’t go to plan w…