Skip to main content

Day Two- Hospital

Day 3/4 at GOSH after open heart surgery

When talking about Elijah and hospital our lives are very much defined into two time periods.
Pre op, which includes our NICU stay, hospital appointments and emergency admissions to the Children's Asessement Unit.
And Surgery.
When we went down to Great Ormond Street Hospital in April 2015 for Elijah's heart surgery.
I can remember every single thing about those 5 days.
What we ate.
What we wore.
Where we went.
The fear.
It only takes something small, a smell, an alarm and I'm back there again.
Elijah is now on 18 monthly check up appointments with his Great Ormond Street Consultant who has been in charge of his care for 4 years now.
Elijah now knows what to expect from his hospital appointments and is used having his heart scanned now too (along with alot of bribes!)
We talk alot about the appointment in the lead up so he is fully aware of what is happening.
The knot of fear in my stomach is back everytime we walk into the Children's Department for his appointment and doesn't ease until I see his heart on the screen and am told nothing has changed.
Elijah will have appointments for the rest of his life and will eventually be transferred to the adult clinic.
Elijah doesn't know any differerent, he has also gone to the hospital and always will and this is part of his everyday life.
It has taken a couple of years for him to be compliable during his appts being so young he just didn't understand at that age.
Now he is older he does understand alot more.
I sometimes wonder if he will come to resent his hospital appointments but they are going to be the one thing that is essential in monitoring his condition.
As much as I can ensure he eats healthily, rests and I keep his as well as I can I cannot see what's going on in there or know how to see if things have worsened.
It is only after we leave we our appointment for the next year or 18 months still with no resteictions that I begin to feel the knot ease slightly until the next appointment or illness.

I will be blogging every day in Feb and taking part in the #CHDphotochallenge to raise awareness this heart month.


Popular posts from this blog

Dear Elijah, on your fourth heart day

Elijah the heart hero never letting anything stop him. Today  is your 4th heart day. It's 4 years since we took you down to Great Ormond Street for open heart surgery. It seems to have crept up on us again. Another whole year has passed but it hasn't changed how I feel about that day. Some have said that oh, by now surely you should have gotten over it after all it's been 4 years. The answer is I don't think I ever will. I have been thinking a lot about that day, where I signed the consent forms for them to take you and operate on you. To either save or take your life. That day was the worst of my life, the unknown certainty of whether you would come back up again. I held you as they put you to sleep. They gave me your dummy as they took you from me and laid you on the operating table as if you weighed nothing. I couldn't even kiss you goodbye in case it was the last time. That's why I won't ever get over it and those who have been in the

The time Fajita night resulted in having a baby in a bath.

The newest Cockerill Do you all remember my ever so optimistic natural birth plan? You can read it here. However, spoiler alert, it didn’t happen. What did happen was something no one was expecting. Wednesday the 5 th July… a mundane sort of day spent cleaning the house and doing the weekly shop. With Greg going back to work the next day I was determined to make sure everything was ready for when this baby arrived! I was three days off my due date and still hadn’t had one single sign this baby was imminently coming. I had been receiving messages from quite a few people asking if baby was here yet. I was getting fed up as everything I had tried to induce labour failed miserably and every morning for the last two weeks I woke up disappointed I wasn’t in labour! I gave up, walking didn’t help, pineapple made me sick and I was beginning to tire of the raspberry leaf tea. This baby was staying put. In the evening I put Elijah bed, and we began to settle down for the eveni

The one with Elijah's heart surgery.

We were back. April 22-28 2015, a year ago this weekend. In just two short weeks since we last went down to London. We had to go down the day before and check in and have another blood test. As all of the forms had been signed last time, we were out again within an hour or so. Back to the same family accommodation, in a different room and with a lot less luggage. Something felt different this time, although I didn't want to believe it was going ahead in the event it was cancelled again, deep down I knew it would be. The morning of the surgery I knew how I would feel as we had been through this all before. I didn't want to go out for a meal so we ate in the hotel room watching ch5 rubbish after Elijah went down in the travel cot. Its odd that through the whole pre admission, cancelled op and the actual operation I can remember what shit we watched on TV and what we ate for tea that night. One of those weird things that just sticks in your head. Sort of like when you rememb