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Dear Ant...

Dear Ant and Dec (Ant),

I know I am a bit behind but I have been struggling with the words to express how I feel about what happened last week.

Your "public" breakdown.

You see, I grew up watching you on SMTV, I have been hungover eating takeaway watching you on Prime Time Weekend TV for most of my adult life.

I too have struggled, with self sabotage, with abusing medication and making reckless and irresponsible decisions.

Some as a shout out for someone, anyone to notice me. To see my pain, some because I felt compelled to do so.

I don't condone what you did, but I can understand how you got there.

I too, have suffered with mental illness for all my life. I cannot imagine how it feels to go through it in the public eye.

When all you want to do is hide away and try and make some sort of sense to what is happening to you.

When the only trip put you make all week is to the Doctors.

When you don't trust yourself with your own prescription.

When you feel like you might never be happy again.

I saw some viral posts comparing you to Robin Williams how we never know what's going on behind the smile.

I think this is wrong.

We shouldn't compare one person's mental health with another.

Everyone is different, we shouldn't tar everyone with the same "depression" brush.

Depression and mental health have different faces and it isn't a one size fits all.

All I can say to you is that do what YOU need to do. If you need to, shut yourself away and focus on you.

You do deserve it.
You aren't being selfish or self pitying.

Those that care will still be there, but they can't fix this for you. Only you can.

One day you will look back and know that you beat this.

Take care of yourself.

From someone who gets it x



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