Skip to main content

Bonding in the bath


The infamous photo Stacey uploaded
Stacey Solomon came under attack recently by the parent militia by defending that it was okay for parents to bath with their children, her eldest being 9. She had posted a picture on social media of her and her children enjoying a bath and says that it is natural, and a daily part of their lives like a bedtime story and dinner. I find some of the comments she received quite perplexing, those who said it was un natural, she was twisted and it was wrong, and she wasn’t respecting her children’s privacy.
I bath with Elijah and when Harlow is old enough (he is 9 weeks old), I will no doubt bath with him too. Greg baths with Elijah as well, I do not think there is anything wrong with this at all. When Elijah or Harlow turn around and say they want a bath on their own, which now and again Elijah does now we will stop. It is unlikely to carry on until they are old enough to bring their husbands or wives in with us too. Sometimes it is just easier to go in together, kill two birds with one stone when time is short.
Elijah was in NICU for 9 days and we didn’t get to give him a bath until he was 10 days old. It was a big deal to us, it felt as though when we gave him a bath before bed we were finally doing things normal parents get to do. I also felt as though we bonded a lot when we were both in the bath together. Elijah was always calmer laying down in the water on me. Now, he is 3 it isn’t as relaxing bathing with him but we still have those bonding moments, where we sing or talk about the day. With Greg being at work a lot of the time, having a bath with Elijah is actually the only time he will get with him that day. After Elijah’s surgery, we were not able to give him a bath for a while whilst his chest drain stitches were still in, so when we were able to restart bath time, again, it meant a lot to us. We probably will not bath with then when they are teenagers, mainly as we will not fit as both boys take after their 6ft3 dad! I do not see the harm in bathing with my kids and as long as they are happy and do not mind, I don't think seeing there mum or dad in the bath is going to be a detriment to their childhood!

Both of my children are still very young, but Elijah is old enough to know that Mummy has a different body to him and Daddy. That she has BOOBIES. For those who this is wrong, I think it shows we live in an age where everything is over sexualised. I mean have you really had a bath with a toddler? There is nothing sexual about getting a foam letter N stuck up your bum and having to share your bath with what is basically half the toy box. I will not hide my body from either of my sons, I want them to know that this was the body that grew, carried and gave birth to them. There is nothing sexual to this, it is the human body. I also want both of my boys to know what real bodies actually look like and to grow up knowing it is okay to have scars, wobbly tummies and not to think the unrealistic bodies in things like porn are actually what every woman/ man should look like.

I do not want Elijah or Harlow for that matter to grow up ashamed of their body. Elijah has a incision and chest drain scars from open heart surgery, I never want him to be self-conscious about this. I want our family to be open with one another, warts and all.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when you are attacking a mother because of her parenting decision I think is where we have to draw the line. At the end of the day, it is down to the parent to decide what they want to do, and how they raise their children. If she wants to have a bath with them until they are 16 so be it. I will carry on bathing with my kids until they tell me they do not want to. I will respect them, when they want privacy they will get it. Just as though I will respect their choices with what they want to wear. I am not exploiting them, it is not sexual to it. It is one mother who tries to save time by throwing a kid in with her in the bath.
If we are honest 9/10 it is not fun and way more stressful than we first thought after getting a toy car stuck in your hair. There is a lot worse going on that we should be worrying about than a parent having a bath with their child.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The time Fajita night resulted in having a baby in a bath.

The newest Cockerill Do you all remember my ever so optimistic natural birth plan? You can read it here. However, spoiler alert, it didn’t happen. What did happen was something no one was expecting. Wednesday the 5 th July… a mundane sort of day spent cleaning the house and doing the weekly shop. With Greg going back to work the next day I was determined to make sure everything was ready for when this baby arrived! I was three days off my due date and still hadn’t had one single sign this baby was imminently coming. I had been receiving messages from quite a few people asking if baby was here yet. I was getting fed up as everything I had tried to induce labour failed miserably and every morning for the last two weeks I woke up disappointed I wasn’t in labour! I gave up, walking didn’t help, pineapple made me sick and I was beginning to tire of the raspberry leaf tea. This baby was staying put. In the evening I put Elijah bed, and we began to settle down for the eveni...

The NICU Club

Helping out at The Big NICU Family Photo F our years ago, I was sitting alone in a hospital side room after just giving birth. My baby was down the hall after being admitted to NICU and the echoes of the distant baby's on the ward were deafening. I was frightened, had no idea what was happening and was all alone. Lonely Alone with the fear my baby might die, alone that I knew no one who had gone through this. Alone with the fact I didn't know what the hell was happening. I had no one I could text, call just to ask what do I do? How should I feel? Should I be this angry? This resentful and bitter anger bubbled beneath the surface because I felt I was being robbed of my start to motherhood. I shut down, didn't want anyone to visit. If they did I shut myself away in my room and sent then down to NICU with my partner. I couldn't face the questions, the pity. Then during our time no one professional came to see if we were okay. A few leaflets here and there, a quic...

Dad's feel guilty too don't they?

      Recently, there have been so many articles and posts about mum Guilt. As a NICU mum I felt beyond guilty when Elijah was born. Check out my Mum Guilt post on Selfish Mother. However, where is the dad guilt? Do dad's feel guilty? Or is this something us mums take upon ourselves to feel? Another thing as a mum we feel we have to take on (and then feel guilty about) because they don't? Is it a common mis conception that dad's don't feel guilty about anything?   When you have a baby, guilt is a huge part of motherhood, it's almost instant. The whole breast vs bottle argument is thrust in your face once your baby is born and your decision is then criticized by anyone and everyone. Something that dad cannot really feel guilty about, if baby doesn't latch and you formula feed (I think whatever you want or have to do is fine!).   As an equal partner in bringing the baby into this world and raising them, do dad's feel what we do? Are the...