Skip to main content

Bonding in the bath


The infamous photo Stacey uploaded
Stacey Solomon came under attack recently by the parent militia by defending that it was okay for parents to bath with their children, her eldest being 9. She had posted a picture on social media of her and her children enjoying a bath and says that it is natural, and a daily part of their lives like a bedtime story and dinner. I find some of the comments she received quite perplexing, those who said it was un natural, she was twisted and it was wrong, and she wasn’t respecting her children’s privacy.
I bath with Elijah and when Harlow is old enough (he is 9 weeks old), I will no doubt bath with him too. Greg baths with Elijah as well, I do not think there is anything wrong with this at all. When Elijah or Harlow turn around and say they want a bath on their own, which now and again Elijah does now we will stop. It is unlikely to carry on until they are old enough to bring their husbands or wives in with us too. Sometimes it is just easier to go in together, kill two birds with one stone when time is short.
Elijah was in NICU for 9 days and we didn’t get to give him a bath until he was 10 days old. It was a big deal to us, it felt as though when we gave him a bath before bed we were finally doing things normal parents get to do. I also felt as though we bonded a lot when we were both in the bath together. Elijah was always calmer laying down in the water on me. Now, he is 3 it isn’t as relaxing bathing with him but we still have those bonding moments, where we sing or talk about the day. With Greg being at work a lot of the time, having a bath with Elijah is actually the only time he will get with him that day. After Elijah’s surgery, we were not able to give him a bath for a while whilst his chest drain stitches were still in, so when we were able to restart bath time, again, it meant a lot to us. We probably will not bath with then when they are teenagers, mainly as we will not fit as both boys take after their 6ft3 dad! I do not see the harm in bathing with my kids and as long as they are happy and do not mind, I don't think seeing there mum or dad in the bath is going to be a detriment to their childhood!

Both of my children are still very young, but Elijah is old enough to know that Mummy has a different body to him and Daddy. That she has BOOBIES. For those who this is wrong, I think it shows we live in an age where everything is over sexualised. I mean have you really had a bath with a toddler? There is nothing sexual about getting a foam letter N stuck up your bum and having to share your bath with what is basically half the toy box. I will not hide my body from either of my sons, I want them to know that this was the body that grew, carried and gave birth to them. There is nothing sexual to this, it is the human body. I also want both of my boys to know what real bodies actually look like and to grow up knowing it is okay to have scars, wobbly tummies and not to think the unrealistic bodies in things like porn are actually what every woman/ man should look like.

I do not want Elijah or Harlow for that matter to grow up ashamed of their body. Elijah has a incision and chest drain scars from open heart surgery, I never want him to be self-conscious about this. I want our family to be open with one another, warts and all.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when you are attacking a mother because of her parenting decision I think is where we have to draw the line. At the end of the day, it is down to the parent to decide what they want to do, and how they raise their children. If she wants to have a bath with them until they are 16 so be it. I will carry on bathing with my kids until they tell me they do not want to. I will respect them, when they want privacy they will get it. Just as though I will respect their choices with what they want to wear. I am not exploiting them, it is not sexual to it. It is one mother who tries to save time by throwing a kid in with her in the bath.
If we are honest 9/10 it is not fun and way more stressful than we first thought after getting a toy car stuck in your hair. There is a lot worse going on that we should be worrying about than a parent having a bath with their child.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Elijah, on your fourth heart day

Elijah the heart hero never letting anything stop him. Today  is your 4th heart day. It's 4 years since we took you down to Great Ormond Street for open heart surgery. It seems to have crept up on us again. Another whole year has passed but it hasn't changed how I feel about that day. Some have said that oh, by now surely you should have gotten over it after all it's been 4 years. The answer is I don't think I ever will. I have been thinking a lot about that day, where I signed the consent forms for them to take you and operate on you. To either save or take your life. That day was the worst of my life, the unknown certainty of whether you would come back up again. I held you as they put you to sleep. They gave me your dummy as they took you from me and laid you on the operating table as if you weighed nothing. I couldn't even kiss you goodbye in case it was the last time. That's why I won't ever get over it and those who have been in the

The obligatory birth story

Eighteen months have passed since our beautiful little miracle emerged (I say emerged because 'vigorously ripped out' doesn't have the same ring to it). The rollercoaster of the past year and a half has somewhat levelled off, and things have become almost normal. Now feels as good a time as any, for me to confess (to HONESTLY confess) what it's like to give birth, become a mother, and cope with the joys of reflux, teething, milestones and TODDLERDOM! And how having an NICU baby with a heart defect makes these things all the more stressful. Oh, and there's also my increasing fear that Elijah is Damien from the Omen, with his endless antagonising of our cats. I will save the nine glorious months of swollen feet, constipation, and eating chocolate on the sofa, like a whale (whilst watching RHOBH in my pants) for another time. This is the story of how Elijah was born. To be honest, after watching numerous programmes on TV, they make it look like, once your 

Day One - Diagnosis

Disbelieving the diagnosis. Every day for 28 days I will be taking part in the  #chdphotochallenge over on my Instagram but I will also be blogging everyday too. Today, is day one and the theme is Diagnosis. I can remember vividly when we recieved Elijah's diagnosis of CHD and Tetralogy of Fallot. It is a day I don't look back on fondly. We were visited bedside by the consultant on the maternity ward. We were told via diagrams that Elijah's heart wasn't working correctly. There were numerous structural abnormalities which were causing his cynatic episodes. In layman's terms his heart leaked back de oxygenated blood, there was a hole that would need to be repaired and thickening of the heart muscle too. The terms overwhelmed me, I didn't know what they really meant for my baby who was fighting for his life. Receiving the diagnosis was the day our lives changed forever. We were no longer new parents but heart parents of a CHD bab