Skip to main content

A letter from a heart mum to Shaun White.

Shaun White in action. What TOF?
Dear Shaun White,
We watched you on TV,  your winning run before claiming your gold medal.
Earlier in the day I had shown my son some pictures of you in action.
Of you receiving your medals. I turned to him and told him that you too, had the same "special heart" as him.
He looked up at me and back at the photo of you on the half pipe flying upside down through the air.
I told him you were proof he could be anything he wanted to be, he could do whatever he wanted to.
You may not feel a role model to other Tetralogy of Fallot sufferers but you are. Especially to us.
I will never forget three years ago when sitting in a hospital bed down the corridor from my son who was fighting for his life in NICU. We were told Elijah had TOF.
They didn't know if he would survive. He needed surgery, he may have future complications.
I hadn't even heard of CHD but it was the life sentence that had just been handed to my son, to us.
I shouldn't have but to try and reassure myself or to make sense of it I Googled CHD. I Googled TOF, I read thread upon thread about surgery procedures, success rates, others stories.
For some reason we looked up celebrities who had CHD to normalise what was happening to us. We read your name, and after your name was this word; Olympian.
That one word, made me look up your whole career.
We sat in awe about what you had achieved.
You gave us hope when we had none.
Whenever someone would ask how Elijah's condition would affect him we said it wouldn't, we said your name.
You are a symbol for us as a heart family.
Sometimes in the darkest days you need to hear a positive story to reignite your hope, to give you light, to make you believe that it might be okay.
You have shown us that our son can be what ever he wants to be.
(Currently a Firefighter but does want a gold medal now).
Thank you for giving us that hope, during the worse time of our lives.
I can only hope one day my son provides as much inspiration to others that you have.
From a mum to a TOF warrior.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The time Fajita night resulted in having a baby in a bath.

The newest Cockerill Do you all remember my ever so optimistic natural birth plan? You can read it here. However, spoiler alert, it didn’t happen. What did happen was something no one was expecting. Wednesday the 5 th July… a mundane sort of day spent cleaning the house and doing the weekly shop. With Greg going back to work the next day I was determined to make sure everything was ready for when this baby arrived! I was three days off my due date and still hadn’t had one single sign this baby was imminently coming. I had been receiving messages from quite a few people asking if baby was here yet. I was getting fed up as everything I had tried to induce labour failed miserably and every morning for the last two weeks I woke up disappointed I wasn’t in labour! I gave up, walking didn’t help, pineapple made me sick and I was beginning to tire of the raspberry leaf tea. This baby was staying put. In the evening I put Elijah bed, and we began to settle down for the eveni...

The NICU Club

Helping out at The Big NICU Family Photo F our years ago, I was sitting alone in a hospital side room after just giving birth. My baby was down the hall after being admitted to NICU and the echoes of the distant baby's on the ward were deafening. I was frightened, had no idea what was happening and was all alone. Lonely Alone with the fear my baby might die, alone that I knew no one who had gone through this. Alone with the fact I didn't know what the hell was happening. I had no one I could text, call just to ask what do I do? How should I feel? Should I be this angry? This resentful and bitter anger bubbled beneath the surface because I felt I was being robbed of my start to motherhood. I shut down, didn't want anyone to visit. If they did I shut myself away in my room and sent then down to NICU with my partner. I couldn't face the questions, the pity. Then during our time no one professional came to see if we were okay. A few leaflets here and there, a quic...

Dad's feel guilty too don't they?

      Recently, there have been so many articles and posts about mum Guilt. As a NICU mum I felt beyond guilty when Elijah was born. Check out my Mum Guilt post on Selfish Mother. However, where is the dad guilt? Do dad's feel guilty? Or is this something us mums take upon ourselves to feel? Another thing as a mum we feel we have to take on (and then feel guilty about) because they don't? Is it a common mis conception that dad's don't feel guilty about anything?   When you have a baby, guilt is a huge part of motherhood, it's almost instant. The whole breast vs bottle argument is thrust in your face once your baby is born and your decision is then criticized by anyone and everyone. Something that dad cannot really feel guilty about, if baby doesn't latch and you formula feed (I think whatever you want or have to do is fine!).   As an equal partner in bringing the baby into this world and raising them, do dad's feel what we do? Are the...