Vicki Cockerill aka NICU Mum talking all things NICU, HEART, parent and toddler related with honesty, hormones, humour and finding any excuse for a GIN. Hoping to help and comfort others going through the same thing and to improve the NICU experience for all.
*Please be CHD aware, 1 in 100 babies are born with a congenital heart disease *
Thursday, 8 June 2017
A letter to my son on election day.
Cockerills go voting
You didn’t really understand what was going on this morning,
or the importance of today.
Other than the library looking different and not being able
to look at the books like you normally do you had no idea what mummy and daddy
We explained we had to go and vote, go in and tick a little
That little box is your future.
Your unborn brother or sister’s future.
The next five years.
Until we had you, we were never too bothered about
voting, partially not understanding the importance of a lost vote or just being
too cool to care.
I always took those women who fought so hard for us to be
able to go and vote for granted. But they should be honoured, remembered and
thanked that we do have the ability to be part of the decision of how our
country is run.
I believed that I wouldn’t be able to change the
country with my vote, so what was the point? I didn’t want to vote for those
parties so why bother?
However, things began to affect us and we grew up. Tax, pensions,
the inability to buy our own house, being burgled but most of all YOU happened.
You were born in a hospital, a NHS hospital that both me and
you stayed in for over a week.
The NHS saved your life, they repaired your heart and you are
here today because of them.
In some countries, we would have had to pay for this
treatment, and it is something we likely could not have been able to afford.
We may not have had you here today with us.
For all the criticism of wait times, lack of GP’s I will
always be grateful to the NHS for letting me be a mother, for giving me you.
You need lifelong care now, and a another surgery and it is
likely that we will have the NHS to thank for this, AGAIN.
We are so privileged that yes you have a pre-existing condition
but you are looked after.
Recently, I have feared your future, with the ugliness that
is happening in the world.
I worry for the world we live in, the lack of compassion,
kindness and humanity that seems to be rife today.
I will always teach you to be open, accepting and help
others who need it.
We are not well off by any standards, but we will always
give to charity, to give to those who have less than us. We have begun teaching
this to you too and already you have helped me raise money for the hospital
that saved you. We have given to the old soldiers with the buckets in town, the
Big Issue sellers even though we rarely read the magazine or we slip some coins
to a homeless person.
I always tell you how lucky you are compared to some
children, you have access to food, water, toys and two loving parents and a
family that adores you. So many in the world do not have this, being a mother
this makes my heart ache.
I can never understand those who do not want to help these
children and their families who instead spread their bigoted views that they
have stolen our jobs and resources. However, just like us, I believe as a
country even if we are not as rich as some in the world it is important to show
some empathy and help others. Not leave them, or to pretend they are not our
problem, to shut the borders down and fob them off to someone else. After all,
if we were in that situation surely, we would appreciate the help?
Something we never had to worry about before until now was
the future of your education, your rights, your equality, your safety. I want you to have
the best education and opportunities in life, with no restrictions dependent on
your sexuality, your gender. I want you to be judge on your ability not your appearance
or your background. I never want you to be attacked for your beliefs whatever
they may be because someone does not understand or agree with them.
I want you to stand up for what you believe in, and to
demand change if you do not believe something is right. Never do I want to see
you criticize other’s choices for what their opinion is or attack them because
In a way, I am glad you do not understand too much of what
is going on with so many although commendable for their passion, for their
opinions on the election and who they want to vote for, they are being so unkind to
those who may believe in something differently, even family and friends. Having an opinion is one thing,
being nasty about it is another thing entirely.
Social media is a sea of who people are voting for and what
you are if you do not vote the same way. This makes me slightly uneasy. Me and
Dad always vote together so far, we have always agreed, but no one else is
privy to who we are voting for. Mainly as this is private, personal to us and
what we believe is right for us and our family.
You may wonder why I am running on about all of this but the
thing is whoever is elected today, will also need to consider these things to. They
will need to consider the future of this country for the next 5 years and perhaps
beyond and this will affect you, Elijah.
I hope for the sake of you and your brother or sister that
they make the right decisions. That they show humanity, compassion and
kindness. I am not going to pretend to know what half the policies mean, how
they will affect us personally or how to run the country and fix the problems.
All I want you to know Elijah, is that we voted today with
our hearts and we didn’t vote tactically, or for whoever is the favourite is. We
didn’t judge others for who they have voted for.
We voted with who we believed are displaying the qualities
of getting this country out of the darkness that it is in now.
Whoever it may be that gets elected (you will no doubt learn
about this in history class which makes me feel so old), I hope people remain
A naïve hope it seems, with slurs on social media, flights
at the polling stations but really, we need to remember we all want the same
thing. We may be voting differently for who we believe will bring this we are
all voting for a better future.
Our future, your future and your children’s future.
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up- Jesse Jackson