Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

                                                             M aternal mental health to be precise. Every mum no matter what their situation deserves to have access to non-judgemental mental health support. Why? Because, every mum matters. May 1-7 th marks Maternal Mental Health week, and one I am proud to be an official partner of. It is something I have regularly blogged and spoken about. This week will show the gaps that so desperately need to be addressed in mums receiving the care they need. After the birth of my first son, I was diagnosed with a mental illness, at times I was let down by the system and have struggled a lot to come to terms ...

A bit of background, Elijah was born with a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) called Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF),  this means there were four structural abnormalities wrong with his heart. These were repaired, via open heart surgery at Great Ormond Street in April 2015 when he was 6 months old.  Please be CHD aware 1 in 100 babies are diagnosed with some form of CHD. To mark Elijah's two year heart anniversary, I will be sharing some CHD/ heart related posts of our journey that have appeared on the blog through the last year over on the Honest Confessions Facebook page this week. Elijah and Alice celebrating two big occasions this week. Elijah, this week marks two big occasions, your friend’s Alice’s second birthday (Happy Birthday Alice!) and something else that you are likely not to remember. It won’t make much sense to you now, but one day it will. This week you will see Mummy and Daddy look at you funny a lot, and you will get extra cuddles and kisses and you ...

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore When do you think it will all become clear 'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear We are one week off going into the third trimester with baby number two, and it is official the fear is now returning. I find when you’re pregnant the fear ebbs and flows through the 9 months. When you first find out you are pregnant, you are just aiming to get through those first 12 weeks, the fear is ever present on your mind. Every cramp, twinge and symptom is scrutinized and the worry of miscarriage is rife. Until you see the baby on your scan, you cannot relax that something may be wrong. The scan gives you some reassurance then after a few more weeks the fear dissolves slowly as you enter the second trimester. Then something magical happens and as it the baby knows you are worried they begin to signal to you all is well or in my case, kick the crap out of my insides but...

I have come to a realisation recently. Elijah is ill, A LOT. He is basically a germ factory. Or he is licking everything, I do catch him doing this quite often. I even caught him putting his head down the toilet the other day.  I don't think we ever go for longer than a month or so before germs invade the house, and take us out one by one. He does not really get ill any more than a child of his age, in fact I think he is considered one of the healthy ones. He even takes his squidgy vitamin once a day which I am pretty sure is just a wine gum in disguise. But, every so often BAM! The house becomes an array of half empty Calpol bottles, snotty tissues, vomit/snot/ any other unidentifiable bodily fluid on the sofa and round the clock Disney films with three sleep deprived zombies inhabiting it. One thing that is certain he will always be ill when we have something planned, work,a night out, or for the last two years on my actual birthday.  It comes in stages, ...