Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

For those that follow me on social media will see that this week, I was faced with some criticism for a post I had written. The post was featured on The Mighty a few months ago, and has been shared via some heart/ CHD sites too. The post which you can read here: ( https://themighty.com/2016/12/congenital-heart-defect-people-asking-if-child-is-fixed/ )   was written about when someone asked a simple question about Elijah. Is he fixed? I politely answered, but in hindsight something was bothering me. It was the terminology. It was the realisation that no, my son will never be fixed. So, I did what I do with most things, I wrote to process how I was feeling at the time. It was not a discussion, it was not instruction to all other heart parents on how they should act when someone asks a question. I didn't demand a revolution that we all protest when someone dares ask us a question. It was a post about a mum who was struggling to come to terms with the reality of her son's conditio...

Today my very good friend who I was lucky enough to be pregnant at the same time as (so much so we class the kids as family) explains how she feels when people question her choice of having two kids under two. I have seen first hand they can be a handful normally when naps are non existent and they have run around soft play for 2 hours. So is Elijah and so are most toddlers. But, this was her choice and one she whole heartedly stands by, I know she wouldn't have changed it for the world. So perhaps before you speak, perhaps this post will show you the other side of the coin....   Are they twins? ' No. No they are not. 'Wow your brave.' Yes. Yes I am. 'Aren’t they alike? ' Seriously?!? ... Having two children under 2 isn't without its challenges. We are a carefully regimented machine that needs maintenance and plenty of oil to keep going. I suppose you could call it survival mode. Preparation is key. Clothes are prepared the night before. As are ...

Dear Public, This is a letter just to explain a few things, I would say it is something of a public apology but I will let you into a secret…. I am not sorry. I am not sorry I chose to have a child, nor do I regret this even on a bad day. I am not sorry my child is strong willed, has likes and dislikes and is his own person. He is a little boy who expresses emotion, just like any adult. He may not understand his emotion at the time, and this will frustrate him and he will act out. I am not sorry when you are looking disapprovingly in the supermarket when he is crying as I will not buy him sweets. That I am taking my time going down to his level to explain how he is feeling. I am sorry I choose to comfort my son, I am not sorry I didn’t leave or take him outside through embarrassment. What have I got to be embarrassed about? Kicking back on the train, cue the scolding. I am sorry that he will scream, cry and kick when he goes back in the pushchair. He wants ...