Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

38 weeks and baby got low low low....  So, the mark of a new week is also my last two weeks of pregnancy with baby number two. However, with the twinges I have been having it may be a tad sooner that so this may be my last blog post for a while. I will aim to update when I can, but I have planned to take July off  (unless a rant post needs to come out with the baby!) Looking after a new-born and a toddler I am sure my notebook will be full to the brim with material I can share with you in August! For those wondering, I am still ploughing on with my book A Year in the life of a NICU Mum and good progress is being made so watch this space... As readers of the blog, I am sure you all know I write for a variety of parent websites and the Huff Post and I have submitted my last pieces to them for the next month but please do continue to check them out! I will be back and present on all after July. Mummy and Little Me Blog Up All Hour...

For those that follow me on social media will see that this week, I was faced with some criticism for a post I had written. The post was featured on The Mighty a few months ago, and has been shared via some heart/ CHD sites too. The post which you can read here: ( https://themighty.com/2016/12/congenital-heart-defect-people-asking-if-child-is-fixed/ )   was written about when someone asked a simple question about Elijah. Is he fixed? I politely answered, but in hindsight something was bothering me. It was the terminology. It was the realisation that no, my son will never be fixed. So, I did what I do with most things, I wrote to process how I was feeling at the time. It was not a discussion, it was not instruction to all other heart parents on how they should act when someone asks a question. I didn't demand a revolution that we all protest when someone dares ask us a question. It was a post about a mum who was struggling to come to terms with the reality of her son's conditio...

Vote for me! My blog started 9 months ago now, and is considered my baby. It took 9 months of growing and it developed into something so much more than I ever imagined. It has led me to connect and meet some amazing people. I started the blog as a way of processing what I was feeling when I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of Elijah. I wanted to tell my story, as if writing it down would somehow make it better, that it may help others and it did. It gave me a channel to focus everything that I was feeling and thinking and to get it out. I didn’t expect much to come of the blog when I first set it up, I didn’t even set it up one of our friends did and I had no clue what I was doing! Then it became an addiction, I had to write and write and write, the more I did the more I felt like myself again. It was if I was becoming a better version of the person I was before as I was stronger, I had a focus and a purpose to help others who were going through t...

Today, November the 17 th sees the world celebrate all the premature babies and their families. To raise awareness for premature births and to highlight the issues that they face. 1 in 10 babies will be born premature that is 15 million babies each year. Today, may also be the time some children learn what it means that they were premature and the journey they and their family took. It can always be hard to breach the subject with a child, to explain that they faced a tougher start to life than most. That they were poorly, they needed extra care and stayed in hospital. They had to fight, to stay here, to be where they are today. The world stands up today and celebrates all the babies who were born early, and their families. Today, is for the mums, dads, grannies, aunties, uncle’s, cousins and friends which watched their little one small, vulnerable and fragile flight for their lives. It is to recognise the issues they face, and how we can improve the NICU experience for all. It ...

Today my very good friend who I was lucky enough to be pregnant at the same time as (so much so we class the kids as family) explains how she feels when people question her choice of having two kids under two. I have seen first hand they can be a handful normally when naps are non existent and they have run around soft play for 2 hours. So is Elijah and so are most toddlers. But, this was her choice and one she whole heartedly stands by, I know she wouldn't have changed it for the world. So perhaps before you speak, perhaps this post will show you the other side of the coin....   Are they twins? ' No. No they are not. 'Wow your brave.' Yes. Yes I am. 'Aren’t they alike? ' Seriously?!? ... Having two children under 2 isn't without its challenges. We are a carefully regimented machine that needs maintenance and plenty of oil to keep going. I suppose you could call it survival mode. Preparation is key. Clothes are prepared the night before. As are ...

I bring you yet another #mamaissue that's right two in one week and it isn't even Christmas yet! This amazing post is written by the lovely Anna who I actually know! We live in the same town! She is now starting out her blogging career but I know it will be a successful one if this post is anything to go by! Stay tuned for later in the series when Anna features again! I think by the end of this post you will evaluate if you are really raising a sexist child. We all know that our children are impressionable and we may  think  that we are watching what we say around them (most of us don’t drop the “C” bomb right?!) but what about the things that we are subconsciously saying? The throwaway comments that are planting teeny tiny seeds in teeny tiny minds. Here are 8 things that many of us have or do say and the implications that they could have down the line: 1.”Because I am a girl….” To explain something to your child using the term “because I am a girl” just shouldn’t b...

The brilliant Jade features today with a #mamaissue that is going on right now. That the outcome will affect thousands of families,  hardworking families, loving families. The election is less than one week away and campaigns are in full swing. But, what happens if you know that YOUR FAMILY will be affected by the decision, that you have no control on as you cannot vote. That your children will be affected by, your husband? When you are now beginning to face prejudice every single day because of one man and his campaign? What do you do? Here is Jade's beautifully written but incredibly raw account of her family being affected by the election 16. 'When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They';re bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good...

After kicking of my #mamaissue series, the response I have received from all of you has been amazing. I have enjoyed reading each and every one of your #mamaissues after all if it is an issue for you, then it has a right of place in this series. It seems very fitting and I am sure you will agree to kick of the guest posts with a fellow NICU MUM Ashton Conway from Our Preemie Family . Here are her very honest and real (two for one) NICU #mamaissues. ASKING PERMISSION TO BE A MOM August 18th, 2014 The one thing I never thought of when my husband and I decided to have kids was asking permission to do the most basic parenting things. And with your first child in the NICU you have to ask to do the most basic of parenting tasks. I had to wait until my son was 25 days old before I could even change his diaper. Changing a diaper is a task most other parents bicker and try and pass off to the other or a visiting grandparent and its something I had to wait 25 days to do. That's about...

Dear Public, This is a letter just to explain a few things, I would say it is something of a public apology but I will let you into a secret…. I am not sorry. I am not sorry I chose to have a child, nor do I regret this even on a bad day. I am not sorry my child is strong willed, has likes and dislikes and is his own person. He is a little boy who expresses emotion, just like any adult. He may not understand his emotion at the time, and this will frustrate him and he will act out. I am not sorry when you are looking disapprovingly in the supermarket when he is crying as I will not buy him sweets. That I am taking my time going down to his level to explain how he is feeling. I am sorry I choose to comfort my son, I am not sorry I didn’t leave or take him outside through embarrassment. What have I got to be embarrassed about? Kicking back on the train, cue the scolding. I am sorry that he will scream, cry and kick when he goes back in the pushchair. He wants ...

I don’t think many of you will be surprised with my #mamaissue that I have chosen to kick of the series with. It is something I have both touched upon and gone into great detail about before on the blog. My #mamaissue is the lack of mental health support on offer for NICU parents in the UK. First of all, I know this will not be the case for all, and some will have received the support and care that all of us deserve. Why is it a postcode lottery in this country that determines the care that you receive when you baby is admitted to NICU? In this day and age surely we are all entitled to receive the same treatment? At the time I have to say I feel punished with the lack of treatment and support I had because of the area I was from. This should not be the case, and on a brighter note a friend had a baby in NICU in the same hospital and received some amazing support from a Bliss Nurse. She believes this may have been down to the fact that she was on her own, or that she was in there...