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Showing posts from October, 2016

Asking permission to be a mum #mamaissue

After kicking of my #mamaissue series, the response I have received from all of you has been amazing. I have enjoyed reading each and every one of your #mamaissues after all if it is an issue for you, then it has a right of place in this series. It seems very fitting and I am sure you will agree to kick of the guest posts with a fellow NICU MUM Ashton Conway from Our Preemie Family. Here are her very honest and real (two for one) NICU #mamaissues.

ASKING PERMISSION TO BE A MOM August 18th, 2014 The one thing I never thought of when my husband and I decided to have kids was asking permission to do the most basic parenting things. And with your first child in the NICU you have to ask to do the most basic of parenting tasks. I had to wait until my son was 25 days old before I could even change his diaper. Changing a diaper is a task most other parents bicker and try and pass off to the other or a visiting grandparent and its something I had to wait 25 days to do. That's about 192 diape…

A warning to the public, I cannot control my child.

Dear Public,
This is a letter just to explain a few things, I would say it is something of a public apology but I will let you into a secret…. I am not sorry.
I am not sorry I chose to have a child, nor do I regret this even on a bad day.
I am not sorry my child is strong willed, has likes and dislikes and is his own person.
He is a little boy who expresses emotion, just like any adult. He may not understand his emotion at the time, and this will frustrate him and he will act out.
I am not sorry when you are looking disapprovingly in the supermarket when he is crying as I will not buy him sweets. That I am taking my time going down to his level to explain how he is feeling.
I am sorry I choose to comfort my son, I am not sorry I didn’t leave or take him outside through embarrassment.
What have I got to be embarrassed about? I am sorry that he will scream, cry and kick when he goes back in the pushchair. He wants to explore, learn and experience new things, but at times I need to do this to en…

My #mamaissue

I don’t think many of you will be surprised with my #mamaissue that I have chosen to kick of the series with. It is something I have both touched upon and gone into great detail about before on the blog. My #mamaissue is the lack of mental health support on offer for NICU parents in the UK.
First of all, I know this will not be the case for all, and some will have received the support and care that all of us deserve. Why is it a postcode lottery in this country that determines the care that you receive when you baby is admitted to NICU? In this day and age surely we are all entitled to receive the same treatment? At the time I have to say I feel punished with the lack of treatment and support I had because of the area I was from. This should not be the case, and on a brighter note a friend had a baby in NICU in the same hospital and received some amazing support from a Bliss Nurse. She believes this may have been down to the fact that she was on her own, or that she was in there for a…

The barrier effect

As a NICU Mum, issues that affect the day to day lives of NICU families are something that I almost take personally. I have been through the NICU journey and now after my family graduated the NICU in Sept 2014; I begin to ask what can I do? How can I help other NICU parents and improve the NICU experience for all? I know as just one person I am very unlikely to change government policies, or raise enough money from the NICU Mum store to buy a new Neo Natal Ward. But the one thing I can do is write, is talk, and to raise awareness of these issues and implore people, to share, like, comment, sign and spread awareness. I have signed up to campaign with Bliss over these issues and all I can do is try, and that is exactly what I will continue to do.
The amazing charity Bliss have just released a report, that sadly I was not shocked at reading it. The report can be read at this link, (Families kept apart: barriers to parents’ involvement in their baby’s hospital care). It shows that fewer th…

Goodbye, Old Friend,

In my 26 years there has been many a time, I have been depressed. Looking back to my teenage years it was due to not being able to cope with rejection, loss and not feeling I belonged. As I grew older, it was just like an old friend, every now and again when you least expected it, there it was rearing its ugly head and dragging me back. I think at times I had even become dependent on my depression, I expected it to be there, and if it did go away it wouldn’t be long before it returned. I guess, I am one of those people, I think too much, I worry more, and suffer from a lot of self-doubt. I basically I attract depression and melancholy. Sometimes, like an old friend, you may just bump into them, and it will be a quick catch up and the depression is again on its away. However, there are times where we can have a full blown reunion.
This will lead to a trip to the doctors, and my other very good friend, the trusty anti-depressant is prescribed. The chemicals re align in my brain, I work …