Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

One Ill. One 'Normal' child. Someone recently asked me with great trepidation if I treated Elijah and Harlow differently, with Elijah having CHD and an open heart surgery under his belt already did it change how I treated them. The fact for the rest of his life CHD will be a lurking like a black cloud over us all does change things. She too had a child with a lifelong condition and one who doesn't. One ill child. One "normal" child. I could see the worry on her face about asking me this but I knew she needed reassurance that she’d been battling to rationalise this for herself for some time. The guilt was etched on her face. If we felt like this I am sure many others would so I wanted to honestly share my feelings to say we shouldn't feel like we cannot talk about something like this when you have one ill child and one who isn't. I know it's not the done thing to talk about who you favour etc. but the truth is... Yes. I do treat El...

For those that follow me on social media will see that this week, I was faced with some criticism for a post I had written. The post was featured on The Mighty a few months ago, and has been shared via some heart/ CHD sites too. The post which you can read here: ( https://themighty.com/2016/12/congenital-heart-defect-people-asking-if-child-is-fixed/ )   was written about when someone asked a simple question about Elijah. Is he fixed? I politely answered, but in hindsight something was bothering me. It was the terminology. It was the realisation that no, my son will never be fixed. So, I did what I do with most things, I wrote to process how I was feeling at the time. It was not a discussion, it was not instruction to all other heart parents on how they should act when someone asks a question. I didn't demand a revolution that we all protest when someone dares ask us a question. It was a post about a mum who was struggling to come to terms with the reality of her son's conditio...

To you... The mum, dad or family member currently sitting in the NICU ward by your baby’s side wishing them to be home for Christmas. They had a good week last week, things were looking up, surely just one more week and you would all be home? Celebrati ng your first Christmas with your NICU graduate, getting to grips with your new baby whilst making your festive lunch and opening presents, breathing a sigh of relief that you were now finally home. As a family, you were in the place where you all belonged, it wasn't meant to be though was it? There have now been a few setbacks, the test results didn't come back as they should and further action is needed over the next week. The next week, which is Christmas. The stark reality is that you will be in NICU over Christmas. No amount of knitted Santa hats, tinsel on the display boards or the mock turkey dinner in the canteen will ever make it feel like a real Christmas. You feel sick just...

Vote for me! My blog started 9 months ago now, and is considered my baby. It took 9 months of growing and it developed into something so much more than I ever imagined. It has led me to connect and meet some amazing people. I started the blog as a way of processing what I was feeling when I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of Elijah. I wanted to tell my story, as if writing it down would somehow make it better, that it may help others and it did. It gave me a channel to focus everything that I was feeling and thinking and to get it out. I didn’t expect much to come of the blog when I first set it up, I didn’t even set it up one of our friends did and I had no clue what I was doing! Then it became an addiction, I had to write and write and write, the more I did the more I felt like myself again. It was if I was becoming a better version of the person I was before as I was stronger, I had a focus and a purpose to help others who were going through t...

Today, November the 17 th sees the world celebrate all the premature babies and their families. To raise awareness for premature births and to highlight the issues that they face. 1 in 10 babies will be born premature that is 15 million babies each year. Today, may also be the time some children learn what it means that they were premature and the journey they and their family took. It can always be hard to breach the subject with a child, to explain that they faced a tougher start to life than most. That they were poorly, they needed extra care and stayed in hospital. They had to fight, to stay here, to be where they are today. The world stands up today and celebrates all the babies who were born early, and their families. Today, is for the mums, dads, grannies, aunties, uncle’s, cousins and friends which watched their little one small, vulnerable and fragile flight for their lives. It is to recognise the issues they face, and how we can improve the NICU experience for all. It ...

Today my very good friend who I was lucky enough to be pregnant at the same time as (so much so we class the kids as family) explains how she feels when people question her choice of having two kids under two. I have seen first hand they can be a handful normally when naps are non existent and they have run around soft play for 2 hours. So is Elijah and so are most toddlers. But, this was her choice and one she whole heartedly stands by, I know she wouldn't have changed it for the world. So perhaps before you speak, perhaps this post will show you the other side of the coin....   Are they twins? ' No. No they are not. 'Wow your brave.' Yes. Yes I am. 'Aren’t they alike? ' Seriously?!? ... Having two children under 2 isn't without its challenges. We are a carefully regimented machine that needs maintenance and plenty of oil to keep going. I suppose you could call it survival mode. Preparation is key. Clothes are prepared the night before. As are ...

The brilliant Jade features today with a #mamaissue that is going on right now. That the outcome will affect thousands of families,  hardworking families, loving families. The election is less than one week away and campaigns are in full swing. But, what happens if you know that YOUR FAMILY will be affected by the decision, that you have no control on as you cannot vote. That your children will be affected by, your husband? When you are now beginning to face prejudice every single day because of one man and his campaign? What do you do? Here is Jade's beautifully written but incredibly raw account of her family being affected by the election 16. 'When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They';re bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good...

After kicking of my #mamaissue series, the response I have received from all of you has been amazing. I have enjoyed reading each and every one of your #mamaissues after all if it is an issue for you, then it has a right of place in this series. It seems very fitting and I am sure you will agree to kick of the guest posts with a fellow NICU MUM Ashton Conway from Our Preemie Family . Here are her very honest and real (two for one) NICU #mamaissues. ASKING PERMISSION TO BE A MOM August 18th, 2014 The one thing I never thought of when my husband and I decided to have kids was asking permission to do the most basic parenting things. And with your first child in the NICU you have to ask to do the most basic of parenting tasks. I had to wait until my son was 25 days old before I could even change his diaper. Changing a diaper is a task most other parents bicker and try and pass off to the other or a visiting grandparent and its something I had to wait 25 days to do. That's about...