Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

For those that follow me on social media, will know that last week we overcame a pretty big obstacle. We gave up the dummy. I never really planned on using a dummy but when Elijah was in NICU, he constantly wanted to suck and this gave him comfort so the nurses made him one. I vaguely remember freaking out before Elijah was one because he was waking up about 100 times a night for it. I was very sleep deprived so sought advice from friends how to kick it.   Cold turkey was the favoured option, we lasted 2 hours and a failed nap time before I wanted to chuck myself out of the nursery window. We sacked it off, and I gave in and relented with the excuse of, well he will need this for recovery after the op. We will address it after (that is pretty much the theme for my first year of parenting.) But, then the year crept up on us, and he was sleeping better, he would wake up and put it back in himself, unless he couldn’t find it,  which was normally embedded in his ear for some u...

Elijah, You’re upstairs asleep, I am downstairs crying. You should be at nursery, but we didn’t even make it out of the house. I couldn’t handle you, the situation, I feel like I have failed you. That I failed as a mother, and not for the first time. There have been times in our crazy two years I have broken down and cried, out of happiness, fear, frustration, you name it, as your mother I have felt it. Even more so as our journey wasn’t so textbook, kiddo. As much as I want to admit you are a normal little boy, with what you have been through in your short life, you are not. Things took their toll on us as parents, but they also left their mark on you too. I know there are a lot of changes going on around you, and some you may not fully understand. In a few months, you will become a big brother, but it is beginning to dawn on me this may be more than you can handle. For a while you have been acting out, getting emotional, we put this down to the terrible twos, bu...