Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

YIPPPPEEEEEEE I have to admit over the last few years of blogging, there have been many ups and downs. Sometimes, the blog has taken a back seat whilst I revaluate if I really did want to keep sharing the finer details of our lives. I have blogged whilst having a part time job, being pregnant, a mum of two and now I can say that I get paid to blog for other people which is a dream come true. Writing is my passion, especially when I am writing about something that I am so driven about. There have been many crashes of confidence, nights in tears whilst I compare myself to the others making the big bucks of social media, the ones getting the book deals handed to them, or featured in all of the publications that I crave so desperately to be part of. But, despite that I kept going, and have found my niche, and through this have met some amazing people, have featured and written for some great bloggers and websites and get to do something I love whilst hopefully helping ...

Trying to live in the present again I thought I would finally take some time to update the blog on why it has been so quiet over here recently. For those that follow my social media will know that back in Dec I quit my job and became a freelance writer. Fast forward a few months and some trial and error I can also now add social media adviser to my bow. Going solo and standing on my own two feet was and still is terrifying. It is not the same as a regular pay cheque going into the bank each month. That coupled with a complete lack of confidence that I was good enough for people to pay me. A couple of months ago I also began therapy. Turns out writing about a traumatic event again and again does not mean you’ve processed it. It just means you’ve learnt the script, but instead I live in the past, missing out on the present. I also didn’t appreciate the effect Harlow’s birth had on me, and what happened in my childhood is still holding me back from being the mum I want...

For those that follow me on social media will see that this week, I was faced with some criticism for a post I had written. The post was featured on The Mighty a few months ago, and has been shared via some heart/ CHD sites too. The post which you can read here: ( https://themighty.com/2016/12/congenital-heart-defect-people-asking-if-child-is-fixed/ )   was written about when someone asked a simple question about Elijah. Is he fixed? I politely answered, but in hindsight something was bothering me. It was the terminology. It was the realisation that no, my son will never be fixed. So, I did what I do with most things, I wrote to process how I was feeling at the time. It was not a discussion, it was not instruction to all other heart parents on how they should act when someone asks a question. I didn't demand a revolution that we all protest when someone dares ask us a question. It was a post about a mum who was struggling to come to terms with the reality of her son's conditio...

Vote for me! My blog started 9 months ago now, and is considered my baby. It took 9 months of growing and it developed into something so much more than I ever imagined. It has led me to connect and meet some amazing people. I started the blog as a way of processing what I was feeling when I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of Elijah. I wanted to tell my story, as if writing it down would somehow make it better, that it may help others and it did. It gave me a channel to focus everything that I was feeling and thinking and to get it out. I didn’t expect much to come of the blog when I first set it up, I didn’t even set it up one of our friends did and I had no clue what I was doing! Then it became an addiction, I had to write and write and write, the more I did the more I felt like myself again. It was if I was becoming a better version of the person I was before as I was stronger, I had a focus and a purpose to help others who were going through t...