Disbelieving the diagnosis. |
Every day for 28 days I will be taking part in the #chdphotochallenge over on my Instagram but I will also be blogging everyday too.
Today, is day one and the theme is Diagnosis.
I can remember vividly when we recieved Elijah's diagnosis of CHD and Tetralogy of Fallot. It is a day I don't look back on fondly.
We were visited bedside by the consultant on the maternity ward.
We were told via diagrams that Elijah's heart wasn't working correctly.
There were numerous structural abnormalities which were causing his cynatic episodes. In layman's terms his heart leaked back de oxygenated blood, there was a hole that would need to be repaired and thickening of the heart muscle too.
The terms overwhelmed me, I didn't know what they really meant for my baby who was fighting for his life.
Receiving the diagnosis was the day our lives changed forever. We were no longer new parents but heart parents of a CHD baby.
Open heart surgery was needed before Elijah was a year or he would die.
I looked over to Greg to see he was feeling exactly the same as me.
Numb.
Our world was crashing in around us. The life we imagined as a family of three was suddenly gone from under our feet.
We didn't even know what the future may hold.
The Doctor left and his words were ringing in my ears, the leaflets felt as though they were burning my hands.
I read them again and again, I Googled everything I could and quickly went into denial.
I believed he got it wrong.
He had made a mistake any minute now he would come back and say he had gotten it wrong and apologise.
I didn't even know how we would tell family and friends as I couldn't find the words.
He looked so well, bursting out of his incubator.
The diagnosis of CHD was just the beginning, there was so much to come and looking back now it was a blur.
We can now define our time before and after diagnosis.
We recieved our diagnosis nearly 4 years ago now but it is still hard thinking back about that day.
I now know so much when at the time I hadn't even heard of CHD or TOF.
Receiving the diagnosis in writing was difficult, having it in black and white made it suddenly seem so so real.
Telling family and friends was hard, I believe Greg did most of that as I couldn't find the words, or face anyone.
We were lucky to have some amazing family and friends around us and still are.
It seems only fitting now to share that alongside a fellow heart warrior Elijah's godmother will be raising money for Tiny Tickers by facing their fears jumping out of a plane. This charity does an amazing job helping and providing support for parents after they have recieved a diagnosis of CHD.
Please find the link below:
Great bblog I enjoyed reading
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