Vicki Cockerill - NICU MUM Blog

NICU MUM #MEDICAL FILES   If you are an avid reader of the blog, you know our story by now. However, I wanted to take a different approach, when I submitted a piece for my medical files series. It is about the assumptions people can make about you when they find out about your son's condition and the journey we took in that fist year of Elijah's life. It does not all disappear and become hunky dory when you come home. This is with you, for life. The look in the consultant’s eyes when he looked at me and then at my partner. He and his colleague then said, ‘we will leave you alone for a moment’. As soon as the door was softly closed, I crumbled. I was being told that my son, the same son who had just been diagnosed with a heart threatening heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallots that would require surgery has had a Neo Natal Stroke. They couldn’t tell me what the lasting damage would be. He may be disabled, he may not reach milestones, he may not walk or talk. I was l...

After our NICU journey came to an end, (although it never really ends). I found so many options that could have been, would have been, should have been offered or made available to us. But, they were not, so this led me to ask as NICU parents are we getting enough support? I for one, felt like I wasn't supported enough. Bliss ( bliss.org.uk)  are doing an amazing job about improving the NICU journey for all and I support them by donating 10% from each order that you lovely guys place in the NICU MUM STORE. If you look at America there is so much emphasis on supporting the NICU parent, something that is just not really done here. As part of starting this blog, my aim was to try and help others going through this, or to raise awareness. To get the message out there, that we as NICU parents need more honest support. I contacted Helen from the brilliant @actuallymummy blog , and she kindly agreed to publish my guest blog, is there enough support for NICU parents? Being bl...

This post is dedicated to @whatthechujj she is a beautiful lady doing wonderful things. She is the perfect example of what we should all be doing to set a better example to our children and future generations in how to show kindness and use the fortunate position we have found ourselves in to help in a realistic and feasible way to help those who need it. You may read my story and think oh you poor girl having to go through all of that straight after you gave birth. To have had your baby taken off you and admitted to NICU, to discover he may not make it due to a serious heart condition. For him to then have countless tests as he had a bleed on the brain which caused seizures. For me to go home without my baby. To attend countless doctor and hospital appointments which ultimately ended up with Elijah having open heart surgery at 6 months old. For a very long time I wallowed in self-pity about why life would be so cruel and deal us this card. That I was robbed of everything I kne...

What I love about when I receive a medical files story, is how different they all are. How much they open my eyes and make me aware. It really does educate you about what others have to go through. I think this will resonate with a lot of people. I myself have a nut allergy, and have a best friend with a gluten intolerance. So far, we have been very lucky and Elijah does not seem to have any allergies. However, how would you cope if your child had some serious allergies? Allergies that would effect your day to day lives? Read the one and only allergy queen herself (she knows what she is talking about also suffering from multiple allergies) Ally the mama behind @lifewithmylittleduck tell their story . From the moment I went into labour I knew our journey with Astrid would be special and challenging. The only thing was I didn't quite realise just how challenging it would be, I mean with me as a mum I should have guessed. Astrid was a good little baby and everything was so easy for...

There is one thing I will say about social media, in fact I will sing it from the roof tops, it saved me. No amount of counselling and medication in the world did what joining Instagram and starting a blog on a whim, when Elijah was at nursery has done for me. Click here to read how blogging helpedme cope with PTSD.  Now, to put this into perspective, I didn’t even have a Facebook account until 5 months ago. When I finally got to grips with Instagram (I say that I still have no idea what I am doing) someone followed me, and as I scrolled through her feed I noticed something. Her little girl had an incision mark like Elijah, it turns out she also had open heart surgery. I was nervous, but I messaged her and we began to chat about our experiences. I felt as though a weight had been lifted, I didn’t feel alone anymore. From there on in, I looked to connect with other NICU, CHD (congenital heart disease) Mums and the odd Dad. I felt I was finally clawing my sanity back. This is wh...

When I first started the medical files, I really hoped it would help others going through the same thing. That by reading others stories it would make them feel supported, comforted and most of all let them know that they are not alone. All of the stories so far have touched me, but this one slightly more so, as it is very much closer to home. I met the lovely Fran via my partner Greg and I learnt a few months ago she was pregnant, then before I knew it she had her baby girl early. Not just a few days early, or a week early but at 24+1 weeks. She was in NICU, the very same NICU my baby boy was in two years ago. I checked in with her when I could, and followed her updates closely, and have her to thank for inspiring me to make a little project into fruition after she received it, and loved it! Her beautiful little girl is now 2 months old and nearly ready to come home, where she belongs! This is Fran's story of Esme's  early arrival, in her very honest words. F...

This is the below letter I sent to my MP George Freeman regarding the diabolic situation in Calais. The way we are acting as a country by turning the other cheek is shameful. It seems the promise of immediate action from the Dubs amendment, is as worthless as the paper it is written on. I implore you all to do the same, flood parliament with letters of concern, threats of action, a wise lady once said to me, 'The smallest steps make the biggest imprint'.                                                            http://www.helprefugees.org.uk/ Dear Mr Freeman, I hope you are well. My name is Vicki, I live in Dereham and have done for 26 years. I am a working mother to a two year old son. I als...

I believe there is always that one person you know who will encourage you to go outside of your comfort zone, to push you that bit further. To challenge yourself and go to a point you haven’t been before. For me that lady is Nina. A blogging mentor, she has been there for me since the very early days. She isn’t afraid to criticise (in a good way) or suggest things I have not even thought about. Our first collaboration went well so it was only a matter of time before another would be on the cards. Especially when we talk nearly every day! Problem was, what would it be about? Without a second thought Nina mentioned that word that makes people’s eyes go wide and they shake their heads looking the other way; not wanting to truly discuss the issue. Abortion.   I guess, the question I would ask myself first is am I for or against abortion? Am I pro-life or pro-choice? The answer is I am somewhat in the middle. As a woman, and as a mother I know how hard it is to bring a child ...