Lucky? We do not know the meaning of the word.

This post is dedicated to @whatthechujj she is a beautiful lady doing wonderful things. She is the perfect example of what we should all be doing to set a better example to our children and future generations in how to show kindness and use the fortunate position we have found ourselves in to help in a realistic and feasible way to help those who need it.

You may read my story and think oh you poor girl having to go through all of that straight after you gave birth. To have had your baby taken off you and admitted to NICU, to discover he may not make it due to a serious heart condition. For him to then have countless tests as he had a bleed on the brain which caused seizures. For me to go home without my baby. To attend countless doctor and hospital appointments which ultimately ended up with Elijah having open heart surgery at 6 months old. For a very long time I wallowed in self-pity about why life would be so cruel and deal us this card. That I was robbed of everything I knew the birth experience to be. That I had a rough start to motherhood. But, ultimately what do I have now? A happy and healthy little boy who is fast approaching his second birthday.

 

Elijah in the NICU

We live in a country where we have the NHS, and yes we know it has its faults, doesn’t everything? I cannot sing their praises enough; we do not realise how fortunate we are to be in a position where we can use the NHS. I was able to give birth with medical assistance in a clean and sanitised hospital. My baby was cared for by professionals in their field, and in NICU that has the latest equipment and medicine on offer. He had open heart surgery in probably the most famous children’s hospital in the world, by skilled surgeons who have perfected their techniques for this surgery. Anything he needed, he had, what did this cost us? Nothing. We paid nothing towards this (obviously this is what our taxes are for etc.) but it was just available to us. My baby’s life was saved; he now had a chance of growing up.

But what would we have done if this was not an option? That the nearest hospital was miles away as the others had been bombed and were no longer standing. That you had to risk yours and your child’s life just to seek medical assistance. That you wake up and you have no food to feed your child, that you have no nappies, no basic pain relief to ease their fever. Nothing to make them feel better, nothing to give to them to soothe their injuries. If we lived in Syria, do you really think we would have had the same outcome? I think we all know the answer to this.

Would I still have a child to hold?

What did you do when you woke up this morning? I was warm in my bed with my child next to me snoring softly. We were warm, comfortable and most importantly we were safe. We went to bed last night we went to bed knowing our child was safe, fed and clean in his bed. Elijah had an entire kitchen’s worth of food to choose from for his breakfast. I was able to change him into a clean nappy. He could have a bath with clean, warm water. A whole draw full of clothes to choose from and a house full of toys. He could watch C Beebies, I was able to go to work and leave him with Greg knowing they would go to the park, the library or play in the garden. We can spend our time, watching SKY and scrolling through Insta or Twitter wondering what Kate Middleton is up to today.

Have you ever thought, and I mean really sat down and thought what would happen if you couldn’t feed, clothe or look after your child? I haven’t, until now. I think I have been extremely selfish in how I am raising Elijah. There are months where of course we do not have too much money. But, all the bills are paid, there is always food in the house and Elijah if I am super honest wants for nothing. He goes to a private nursery, he goes to a music class and I regularly buy him little presents and sweets after I have been at work all day. Elijah’s birthday is in less than three weeks and we have already brought him, a ton of presents with many more on the list. I am planning a birthday party and sparing no expense to give him the party I think he would like.

Enjoying life at the seaside

Yes, I spoil him rotten, I think we may not have even got to his second birthday, so I want to celebrate it. For it to be special. Mainly more for me I guess, to give him everything I never had. This is all so superficial, so material and Elijah would not care if he had a party with cake and presents or if we didn’t celebrate it at all. At this young age, he has no idea. We are by far are not the richest people in the world but we can provide this. I can buy him mountains of plastic tat from Poundland and a ton of Kinder Eggs. I guess this is where I feel so conflicted in the fact yes, we do work hard to give Elijah a good life, and I also do not think Elijah would turn out any different if I didn’t provide this.

It is very easy in the day and age to ignore the news coverage, the front of the papers and carry on with our glamourous Instagram post lives. I for one am very guilty of doing this. As its not on our door step we can choose not to take any notice of it. We can speculate without actually knowing what is going on, as we are not living it. We can say, oh well they ask for it, it’s nothing to do with us, best stay out of it. We can then standby and pretend to feel bad when we hear about hundreds and thousands of deaths but then worry about what time Masterchef is on and all is forgotten again. We can say we would like to help and have every intention to do so but never actually get round to it. To say charity starts at home. But what happens when there is no home for charity to start at? It’s been destroyed and your left without a family. You are left with no money, nowhere to go so you risk your life literally your life to try and cross the border to have a better life. So what do we do as a country? Shut the borders, turn our backs and watch Eastenders. Or to send their children away to hopefully be safe and grow up and become something but these poor children instead live in a filthy refugee camp.

The little boy Omran who broke the media

@whatthechujj  has really opened my eyes to what we can do, what is feasible to do in the position we are fortunate enough to be in. Something as simple as sending an email to an MP, which I have done click here to view a letter to my MP. I received a reply from them asking my permission to pursue this matter. To gather such small necessities as medical supplies, bandages, pain relief, first aid supplies, do you know you can get 200 plasters for next to nothing? Imagine not being able to give your child pain relief, I don’t know about you but we have about 5 bottles of Calpol kicking about our house! Can you ever imagine  where you do not have any nappies to change your child with, to not even have a sanitary towel or tampon. That you are caught up in the war that is raging you don’t even have anti septic to keep your wounds clean. I look around my house and I can see I have all of those things and more. Barely used, unopened, half used. What do these people have? Nothing. What do we have? So, so much but still we complain. About the weather, money, taxes, work and that you lost Internet connection playing Pokémon Go. We really do not know how lucky we actually are.

This post was not to preach, not to demand anything from you, it was just to say I for one, as a woman, a mother and a human will be trying to do something to help. Something that is feasible. Such as sending bandages and medical supplies to help. Please have a look at @whatthechujj blog for a full list of items needed . I will hopefully try and waste less, buy less and help others when I can and hope Elijah will take lead from my example and do the same. That we really do treasure what we have, and stop feeling so sorry for ourselves when really we are as fortunate as they come. Look at us, because of the country we live in my child is a living breathing example, some in Syria are not so lucky.

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