Skip to main content

Bonding in the bath


The infamous photo Stacey uploaded
Stacey Solomon came under attack recently by the parent militia by defending that it was okay for parents to bath with their children, her eldest being 9. She had posted a picture on social media of her and her children enjoying a bath and says that it is natural, and a daily part of their lives like a bedtime story and dinner. I find some of the comments she received quite perplexing, those who said it was un natural, she was twisted and it was wrong, and she wasn’t respecting her children’s privacy.
I bath with Elijah and when Harlow is old enough (he is 9 weeks old), I will no doubt bath with him too. Greg baths with Elijah as well, I do not think there is anything wrong with this at all. When Elijah or Harlow turn around and say they want a bath on their own, which now and again Elijah does now we will stop. It is unlikely to carry on until they are old enough to bring their husbands or wives in with us too. Sometimes it is just easier to go in together, kill two birds with one stone when time is short.
Elijah was in NICU for 9 days and we didn’t get to give him a bath until he was 10 days old. It was a big deal to us, it felt as though when we gave him a bath before bed we were finally doing things normal parents get to do. I also felt as though we bonded a lot when we were both in the bath together. Elijah was always calmer laying down in the water on me. Now, he is 3 it isn’t as relaxing bathing with him but we still have those bonding moments, where we sing or talk about the day. With Greg being at work a lot of the time, having a bath with Elijah is actually the only time he will get with him that day. After Elijah’s surgery, we were not able to give him a bath for a while whilst his chest drain stitches were still in, so when we were able to restart bath time, again, it meant a lot to us. We probably will not bath with then when they are teenagers, mainly as we will not fit as both boys take after their 6ft3 dad! I do not see the harm in bathing with my kids and as long as they are happy and do not mind, I don't think seeing there mum or dad in the bath is going to be a detriment to their childhood!

Both of my children are still very young, but Elijah is old enough to know that Mummy has a different body to him and Daddy. That she has BOOBIES. For those who this is wrong, I think it shows we live in an age where everything is over sexualised. I mean have you really had a bath with a toddler? There is nothing sexual about getting a foam letter N stuck up your bum and having to share your bath with what is basically half the toy box. I will not hide my body from either of my sons, I want them to know that this was the body that grew, carried and gave birth to them. There is nothing sexual to this, it is the human body. I also want both of my boys to know what real bodies actually look like and to grow up knowing it is okay to have scars, wobbly tummies and not to think the unrealistic bodies in things like porn are actually what every woman/ man should look like.

I do not want Elijah or Harlow for that matter to grow up ashamed of their body. Elijah has a incision and chest drain scars from open heart surgery, I never want him to be self-conscious about this. I want our family to be open with one another, warts and all.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when you are attacking a mother because of her parenting decision I think is where we have to draw the line. At the end of the day, it is down to the parent to decide what they want to do, and how they raise their children. If she wants to have a bath with them until they are 16 so be it. I will carry on bathing with my kids until they tell me they do not want to. I will respect them, when they want privacy they will get it. Just as though I will respect their choices with what they want to wear. I am not exploiting them, it is not sexual to it. It is one mother who tries to save time by throwing a kid in with her in the bath.
If we are honest 9/10 it is not fun and way more stressful than we first thought after getting a toy car stuck in your hair. There is a lot worse going on that we should be worrying about than a parent having a bath with their child.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The time Fajita night resulted in having a baby in a bath.

The newest Cockerill Do you all remember my ever so optimistic natural birth plan? You can read it here. However, spoiler alert, it didn’t happen. What did happen was something no one was expecting. Wednesday the 5 th July… a mundane sort of day spent cleaning the house and doing the weekly shop. With Greg going back to work the next day I was determined to make sure everything was ready for when this baby arrived! I was three days off my due date and still hadn’t had one single sign this baby was imminently coming. I had been receiving messages from quite a few people asking if baby was here yet. I was getting fed up as everything I had tried to induce labour failed miserably and every morning for the last two weeks I woke up disappointed I wasn’t in labour! I gave up, walking didn’t help, pineapple made me sick and I was beginning to tire of the raspberry leaf tea. This baby was staying put. In the evening I put Elijah bed, and we began to settle down for the eveni...
7 comments
Read more

#bigkidsforgosh

I am sitting on the sofa with C Beebies blasting out and I look to my right, I feel a little hand grab  mine. Elijah looks up at me and says, ‘Mummy’. This is one of those things that happens about a hundred times a day, but now and again I really take stock of them. I sweep his fringe out of his eyes and give him a little hug. There was a time that I may not have ever been able to do this. To be able to raise my (nearly) two-year-old as a normal, happy and healthy little boy. He may not have even be here at all. I am only able to do this because of Great Ormond Street Hospital. After Elijah’s diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot at birth, after his admission to NICU we had always known he needed open heart surgery to repair his heart. To put it simply, to save his life. Being a mother to Elijah means everything to me. GOSH saved my family. It was scheduled to be around the 6 month of age mark that he would have this surgery, from the latest consultant appointment a...
2 comments
Read more

The one with Elijah's heart surgery.

We were back. April 22-28 2015, a year ago this weekend. In just two short weeks since we last went down to London. We had to go down the day before and check in and have another blood test. As all of the forms had been signed last time, we were out again within an hour or so. Back to the same family accommodation, in a different room and with a lot less luggage. Something felt different this time, although I didn't want to believe it was going ahead in the event it was cancelled again, deep down I knew it would be. The morning of the surgery I knew how I would feel as we had been through this all before. I didn't want to go out for a meal so we ate in the hotel room watching ch5 rubbish after Elijah went down in the travel cot. Its odd that through the whole pre admission, cancelled op and the actual operation I can remember what shit we watched on TV and what we ate for tea that night. One of those weird things that just sticks in your head. Sort of like when you remem...
5 comments
Read more