It's been a while since I have posted about our current
adventures and shock bloody horror the sun has been shining, so we
have been making the most of it. We have been playing a lot in the garden (I love
this as it is free and there are on site toilets and food is available if I have
remembered to go shopping), we visited a fen near our house. It's literally
a 5-minute walk from us and has loads of fields, a small river and a park. Why in 19
months I have not been here before baffles me as Elijah bloody loved it. He did
leg it off quite a few times but it wore him out and it is FREE!! There is even
a resident hawk that flies over!
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| Going down the slide without any trousers on- standard Elijah behaviour |
We also crossed another first off the list
with him experiencing his first funfair! Another first was that I attempted to
cut the little rat tail off his hair which was beginning to morph into a mullet
and gave him a pretty crappy bowl cut my mistake. Whoops. First shit hair cut
is now officially ticked off the list! I tried to cover it up with his sun hat
but he won’t keep it bloody on! It’s like he is purposefully dobbing me in!
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Playing in the garden, sounds so fun, so easy! You are SO wrong! It requires much planning and I wish it was just a case of lobbing him outside with some chalk. You would think as you are at home it is a familiar place, with food, toys and nappies on tap it would be great. However, it can also be bloody stressful here is why;
2.
He is obsessed with making a break for it down
the path which leads to a busy main road.
3.
You spend ages setting up an activity only for
him to get bored within 2 minutes and want to go watch C Beebies, even though
you are trying to catch a sneaky tan.
4.
The snack you brought him is now tipped on the
floor and covered in ants.
5.
You now realise that Elijah maybe responsible
for the ants being found in the playroom.
6.
He doesn’t want to wear his shoes in the garden
and you always loose one.
7.
You need to be on a constant visual for stones
being eaten.
8.
The poor cats now get terrorised outside.
9.
He finds it more fun to open and close the door
rather than play with all of the toys you have brought him.
10.
It will eventually lead to Elijah diving head
first of a chair/slide/ climbing frame or table and getting hurt.
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| Bad bowl cut making a reappearance |
Sometimes I wake up and think right we are going to do
something fun! Let’s go out! Something that everyone else seems to be doing and
then they take amazing family photos of which look so natural and easy. We will
go for a walk! At the fen! I have packed the blanket and a picnic out of
packets of things I have in the draw. I have got my new camera ready to take
some Instagram worthy pictures of our amazing nature filled walk. Was it natural and easy? Was it bloody hell.
I spent most of the time (after releasing the beast from his confines) running
after Elijah with the pram as he ran in every other direction than I wanted him
to. Then he fell over. A lot. He threw a wobbler whenever I got my camera out. Then
he was hungry, snack given I looked away for 2 seconds to find said snack
dumped on the floor. Then he wouldn’t leave the park, threw a tantrum and had
to be wrestled back into the pram whinging all the way home. Sigh.
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| Future model in the making |
The weekend rolls in, with the sunshine still present (that’s got to be a new record? 4 days in a row!) I have even shaved my legs and got last year’s flip flops out! The factor 50 has been purchased. The battle between me, Elijah and the sun hat has been raging on. We decide as the fair is in town it’s the perfect way to spend Saturday Afternoon (and daddy’s money). I have bundled Elijah in the pram, packed the reins and go to meet our play date for the afternoon. I mean what could possible go wrong? Two toddlers, one (teething) 7 month old and three adults? Surely the odds are in our favour?
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| All the fun of the fair |
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| TROUBLE |
No, they
really were not. I think within about 5 minutes it began to slightly go wrong
when Elijah and Evelyn wanted to go on their first ride and me and Sam had to
cram our arses into it too. I did not fit in this bloody thing and went around
the little track with my leg (and pretty sure my foof too) hanging out. Elijah
then threw one of many tantrums of the day which involves him throwing himself
back on the floor on his reins when I said we couldn’t get on it again. I was slightly
worried this time I wouldn’t be able to get out and the fire engine and local
papers would be called. Poor Sam squished her boobs into a little car when really
they needed their own one!
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| They look so innocent... right? |
We were then robbed by hook a duck, hook a bag etc.… £3.00…
I am still annoyed and my purse is still very much lighter. Each kid then took
their turn in throwing a wobbler. Evelyn also did a great job of driving a tiny electric boat! She did it for the girls, where as Elijah got in a mood when I took his shoes of and then screamed his head off!
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| Bubba Elliot |
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| Literally having the time of their lives |
This weekend also saw me dumping ahem I mean lovingly drop my adorable
bundle of joy of the Nana’s house for a sleepover! While Mama hit the town,
well Dereham Hollywood Cinema where time has stood still since the 90’s! With
the bestie to see a film, mock her tomato juice habit and the fact she takes PG
Tips into the cinema. Who under the age of 60 does this? TELL ME!! The next
morning, baby free you would think I would be sleeping in without having a
little sleep robber kicking me in the face or head-butting me causing me to
think that crunch may have resulted in him succeeding in finally breaking my
nose. No, Elijah has successfully ruined my body clock and I was up, dressed
and out of the house even earlier than if I had him! WAAAH. There was an even
bigger kick in the crotch when my Nan announced he slept through the night
until 7.30 AM without a peep. FML. Always the bloody case.
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| He doesn't normally like ice cream, unless it's mine. |
So there we have it, the adventures that this NICU Mum, her toddler and the kitchen scissors had last weekend.
P.S in case you were wondering since coming to write this post the sun has now disappeared and it has rained all day. That was the Great British Summer of 2016. I am off to put the flip flops and jelly shoes back in the cupboard for next year. Bloody annoying when I have spent a small fortune on factor 50 sun cream for Elijah! Grrrr.
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| Model shot #2 |
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